Why I Almost Quit
I know I am not on the right track, and that’s why I almost quit. This journey has been long and hard, filled with moments of doubt, uncertainty, and reflection. There have been times when I questioned my purpose, my goals, and whether I had the strength to continue. It hasn’t been easy to admit that, but sometimes, recognizing that you’re lost is the first crucial step toward finding your way back.
Taking some time away from the show has given me profound insights into both my personal journey and the direction of the show. This break gave me the space to reevaluate what I truly wanted for Real Money. Initially, the intention was to be genuine, honest, and open with my audience but I realized I had drifted from this core purpose and got off track. I was chasing fame and it sent me down a path that I don’t regret, but it wasn’t the direction that I wanted my show to go in.
Effects of Chasing Recognition
The pursuit for fame often leads to unexpected consequences. Numerous individuals, driven by the allure of recognition, face immense stress, anxiety, and a sense of detachment from our true selves. I realized this after chasing fame myself, and it became evident that such a path can be all-consuming. The constant pressure to attain perfection, maintain public image, and meet external expectations takes a mental and emotional toll.
The Prompts from the Workshop
“If I Didn’t Have to Be Perfect, I Would Be…“
Returning to my authentic self, I am committed to being as genuine and truthful as possible. My experiences in a recent writing workshop that focused heavily on the theme of shame helped me reinforce this. One of the writing prompts asked, “If I didn’t have to be perfect, I would be…”.Some of the responses from the group included being present and happy, loving unconditionally, being fun, whole and complete, and free. However, the response that resonated with me the most was, “If I didn’t have to be perfect, I would tell the truth.”
Growing up, the label “perfect” was thrust upon me, creating a façade that stifled my true self. This notion of perfection was ingrained in me early on, forming a persona that hindered genuine expression. This struck a deep chord with me because the pursuit of perfection has been a limiting force throughout my life. As a child, being labeled “perfect” shut me down. My whole life has been a journey to reject this imposed perfection. I want to break free from it.
During the workshop, I realized that my whole life, I’ve been working to not be perfect because I hated that word so much. This realization has helped me to understand why I’ve been chasing fame and why it sent me down a path that I don’t necessarily regret, but that I’m not proud of either.
Overall, the workshop allowed me to explore my thoughts and feelings in a safe and supportive environment. It was refreshing to be able to be open, honest, and real, and to connect with others who were going through similar experiences.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the writing workshop and the break I took have been invaluable in allowing me to reflect on what I truly want for my show. These experiences provided me with the clarity I needed to understand the direction I should take. I am now more certain than ever that I want to prioritize authenticity, honesty, and genuine connection with my audience. Moving forward, I am committed to staying true to these values and creating content that resonates deeply with both myself and my viewers. This renewed sense of purpose fills me with excitement and determination as I move forward, committed to making a meaningful impact with each episode.