Money Diaries: My Journey with an LGBTQ Couple, Introducing my Money Tools!
Navigating financial dynamics can be particularly complex and now let’s talk about the opportunity I had to work with an LGBTQ couple facing these very challenges. In this Money Diaries series, I share a detailed glimpse into how I manage new clients, starting with a discovery call to assess our compatibility and then diving deep into their finances using my KIS (Keep It Simple) Money Worksheet.
This couple, married with children from previous relationships, deals with various financial dynamics, including different income sources and expenditures. I meticulously examined their finances, highlighting their fixed expenses and addressing their spending patterns. By understanding their unique money personalities and evolving needs, my goal was to foster a collaborative environment where both partners could thrive financially.
Deep Dive into My Client Work Process
My initial engagement with clients begins with a discovery call. This helps determine if we are a good match to work together. If so, we proceed to the financial deep dive.
During this deep dive, I ask clients to provide detailed financial information using the KIS Money Worksheet. This worksheet is a crucial tool for tracking financial movements in households, helping us understand where money comes from and where it goes. For this couple, their worksheet included various income sources, contributions, and expenses, reflecting a complex financial landscape. After evaluating their KIS Money Worksheet, I focus on tracking their spending habits. Many clients, including this couple, exhibit disorganized spending, which makes aligning financial goals essential.
To assist, I use a 90-day audit and a 12-month money tracker. These tools help clients understand their financial behaviors and make necessary adjustments.
Understanding each partner’s money personality is also vital. For example, if one partner is over-generous and the other is a spender, I provide tailored advice to harmonize their financial activities.
Next, we discussed their lifestyle preferences and defined negotiable versus non-negotiable expenses. This step involved a candid look at their monthly financial flows. Notably, their inconsistent child support payments presented additional challenges, highlighting the need for reliable budgeting practices.
Through structured sessions, my aim was to create clarity and stability in their financial lives, ensuring they could move towards their goals with confidence.
Meeting the Couple
The couple is part of a blended family with four children. One partner works full-time while the other stays home to care for the children and engages in volunteering. This dynamic presents unique financial challenges and opportunities, as both partners have differing financial personalities, requiring careful negotiation and planning to achieve harmony in their financial life.
Financial Dynamics of a Blended Family
Managing their finances involves common issues encountered in blended families, such as inconsistent child support payments. This inconsistency complicates budgeting and cash flow management. I identified these pain points to develop strategies that accommodate their financial realities while fostering a collaborative approach to spending and saving.
Financial Pain Points Identification
The couple faces several financial challenges. Their total monthly income is approximately $9,000, including rental income, child support, and W-2 wages. Despite this substantial inflow, their spending habits are not aligned with their financial goals. Inconsistencies in tracking expenses add to their difficulties, making it hard to pinpoint exact figures for monthly outflows.
Analyzing these dynamics revealed the need for a systematic approach to managing their finances. Establishing clear boundaries and tracking spending regularly can help address these pain points, ensuring a more stable financial future.
Money Personalities
Every couple has unique financial habits impacting how money flows in and out of their household. In this case, one partner is a giver, often contributing to community organizations and nonprofits, while the other is a spender who uses money on items and experiences. This adds another layer of complexity to their financial management.
The Giver vs. Spender
In a household where one partner is a generous giver, spending can often seem unrestrained. This dynamic can lead to emotional challenges, especially when the spender complements the giver’s tendency to share freely with others. Financial boundaries may blur as resources are allocated to family members, charities, and personal interests without proper tracking.
The spender typically finds joy in shopping and indulging, but this behavior can result in financial strain when not balanced. Their need for spending may clash with the more reserved financial approach of their partner, creating potential conflict if not managed thoughtfully.
The couple’s primary financial issue was the inconsistency in tracking their spending, leading to a lack of alignment in their financial goals and habits. Many couples experience this, especially when one person manages the financial details and the other does not. By identifying their spending personality types—one as a generous giver and the other as a spender—they began to better understand their money management behaviors. This realization was the first step toward aligning their financial goals and improving their overall household budget management.
Establishing Common Ground
The process began with defining clear and achievable goals tailored to the couple’s specific financial situation. This involved understanding their individual perspectives on money, which helped solidify their shared financial priorities. Gathering details through tools like the KISS Money Worksheet laid the groundwork for a focused financial strategy. Key areas to consider included:
Checking Out Expenses: Take a look at everything you’re spending money on, from fixed costs like rent to those occasional splurges.
Finding Where the Money Comes From: List all your sources of income, whether it’s from your job, any side gigs, rental income, or other ways you make money.
Getting a Big Picture
Figure out what’s most important to tackle right now and what can wait.
Lifestyle and Priorities: Think about what matters most to you both in your daily life and your long-term goals.
What You Can and Can’t Compromise On: Identify what you’re flexible about versus what you absolutely need to stick to.
How Your Past Affects Your Spending: Reflect on how your past experiences with money are shaping your current habits and choices.
Action Steps
Take Personality Quizzes: These fun quizzes can help you understand how each of you handles money and how to manage it together.
Use Simple Tools: Try out tools like the KISS Money Worksheet and budget trackers to keep an eye on your finances.
Have Regular Check-Ins: Meet up monthly to go over your budget, track your spending, and make any necessary adjustments. Hiring a coach to help make this a habit is a great starting point! (shameless plug)
Set Small Goals: Start with small goals that are baby wins!
Set Weekly Spending Numbers: Agree on some boundaries to get started.
Build an Emergency Fund: Put aside some of your extra cash each month to create a savings cushion for unexpected expenses.
By following these steps, you and your partner can build a solid plan that fits your lifestyle and helps you handle any financial bumps along the way.
Do you want to explore more about other situations? Check out the other Money Diaries: Single Mom Podcast and Blog now!
